Bringing an au pair into your home is a big decision. You’re not just hiring childcare—you’re welcoming someone into your family. Finding the right person means more than just checking their resume. It’s about making sure they align with your parenting style, household rules, and, most importantly, your child’s needs.
The interview is your chance to get to know them beyond their application. But what should you ask? Here are ten essential questions to help you find the perfect match.
Table of Contents
1. Why Do You Want to Be an Au Pair?
This question sets the tone for the entire interview. You want someone who’s genuinely interested in childcare, cultural exchange, and the experience of living with a new family—not just someone looking for an easy way to travel. Pay attention to their enthusiasm, motivation, and whether they’ve thought through the responsibilities involved.
2. What Experience Do You Have with Children?
Not all childcare experience is equal. An au pair who has worked as a nanny for toddlers may not be the best fit for a home with older kids who need help with homework. Ask about the ages of the children they’ve cared for, how long they worked with each family, and what kinds of responsibilities they handled.
Follow up with:
- Have you ever dealt with tantrums or sibling arguments? How did you handle them?
- What’s your favorite activity to do with kids?
- Have you ever been responsible for multiple children at once?
Their answers will help you gauge whether their experience matches your needs.
3. How Would You Handle Discipline?
Every family has different expectations when it comes to discipline. Some prefer time-outs, while others focus on positive reinforcement. Ask how they would react in situations where discipline is necessary, and make sure their approach aligns with yours.
If their response is vague or doesn’t fit your parenting style, ask follow-ups like:
- What would you do if a child refuses to listen?
- How do you handle conflicts between siblings?
- What’s your opinion on screen time as a reward or punishment?
You want someone who respects your household rules while maintaining a firm but kind approach.
4. How Would You Spend a Typical Day With the Children?
This gives you insight into their creativity, structure, and understanding of child development. A great au pair will mention a mix of playtime, outdoor activities, and educational engagement. If screen time is their main plan, that’s a red flag.
Encourage them to walk you through a full day, including:
- Morning routines and getting ready for school
- Activities they would plan for an at-home day
- How they’d balance play and quiet time
- Handling meal prep and bedtime
5. How Do You Handle Stressful or Emergency Situations?
Emergencies can happen, and you need an au pair who won’t panic under pressure. Ask if they have experience dealing with minor accidents, medical issues, or unexpected situations. If they’re CPR-certified or have first aid training, that’s a plus.
Pose hypothetical situations:
- What would you do if a child fell and got hurt while playing?
- How would you respond if a child choked on food?
- What if you got locked out while watching the kids?
Their ability to think on their feet matters. Look for someone who stays calm and practical.
6. What Are Your Expectations for Living With a Host Family?
Since they’ll be living with you, it’s crucial to make sure their expectations align with your household dynamic. Some au pairs might assume they have full independence in the evenings, while others may be open to family meals and activities.
Ask:
- Do you prefer more privacy or to be involved in family time?
- Are there any household rules you’d find difficult to follow?
- How would you handle a conflict with a host family member?
This helps avoid misunderstandings once they move in.
7. Are You Comfortable Helping With Household Tasks?
An au pair’s main responsibility is childcare, but they often help with light household duties. Be upfront about your expectations. Ask what they’re comfortable with and clarify any potential gray areas.
Common tasks might include:
- Preparing meals for the children
- Keeping play areas tidy
- Doing kids’ laundry
- Helping with school drop-offs/pickups
If they hesitate, it’s best to discuss it now rather than later.
8. How Do You Handle Cultural Differences and Homesickness?
Living in a new country comes with adjustments. Some au pairs thrive in new environments, while others struggle with homesickness. Ask how they’ve handled culture shock in the past or how they plan to stay connected with their home life while integrating into yours.
Good follow-up questions:
- Have you traveled or lived away from home before?
- How do you stay positive when feeling homesick?
- What are you most excited about in this experience?
This will give you an idea of their adaptability and resilience.
9. What Are Your Interests and Hobbies?
An au pair’s personality plays a big role in how they interact with your kids. If they love sports, music, or arts and crafts, that could be a great match for your family. Someone who shares common interests with your children will naturally engage with them in meaningful ways.
Ask about their hobbies and what they like to do in their free time. If they mention activities your kids enjoy, it’s a good sign they’ll bond well.
10. What Are Your Long-Term Goals?
This isn’t just a job for them—it’s a life experience. Some au pairs are using this time to gain childcare experience before becoming teachers, while others are focused on improving their language skills. Their goals can tell you a lot about their work ethic and commitment.
You might ask:
- Where do you see yourself in five years?
- Are you planning to return home after this, or do you want to stay longer?
- How do you think being an au pair will help you grow?
Their answers can give you insight into whether they’ll fully engage in the role or see it as just a temporary gig.
Finding the Right Au Pair for Your Family
The right au pair isn’t just about qualifications—it’s about personality, attitude, and fit. A strong interview helps ensure they align with your family’s values and expectations. By asking the right questions, you’ll feel more confident in choosing someone who will provide loving, responsible care for your children while becoming a valuable part of your home.
